January 12, 2009 - Dallas, Texas 32 Degrees and Fair:

On January 1, 2009 ~ I spent the day mostly resting... My grandson was spending some time with me over the holidays and I was happy he was here. I had been ill since Thanksgiving and was still feeling poorly. I came through Christmas feeling worse and was grateful to have some time to rest. I took down the Christmas tree on New Years Day and made a few promises to myself, including: " I will no longer be a victim , "I'm going to fight back", "I want to live the days of my life to the fullest" and " Enjoy my loved ones" . There is a lot that goes into these promises, guess they were more like New Years Resolutions. In any case, I was in a determined frame of mind and still am !

Actually, I had began making promises to myself before Christmas when I decided to put up the Christmas tree that my sister had given me at Thanksgiving. It was the first tree I had put up in a long time, in fact; last year my little granddaughter had decorated my bar stool, it was my Christmas Tree... I felt really bad about that too, she couldn't stand it that Christmas had not found it's way to my little apartment and I felt so sad that she was being robbed of her Christmas joy. Her smile this year, when she saw my Tree (in the middle of the floor) was heart warming. It made me so happy to see her smile and her filled with such excitment .

My Baby and Bar Stool Christmas Tree - 2007

2008 Christmas Tree - This is more like it.....although I must admit, I am impressed with her "great idea".

I could go back and fill in the days of these past holidays, but just can't take that kind of time right now. I will probably put up a slide to fill in the gaps. Ya know, being so ill, for so long has cheated me out of so many happy moments. I have found myself really angry about this too. I will not be cheated out of one more happy moment, no matter how ill I am or how poor I have become... I am not licked yet, not by a long shot !

catching up:

I have begun to document my health issues and now that I can make pictures, I will make plenty of them to give some visuals to this poison that has, up until now; robbed me of my life. I have found a new resolve and will put it to good use. The last days of December, I began making pictures of some of my physical symptoms of illness; hair falling out and skin rashes, sores and scars.

I went to see a doctor in Waco Texas back in August, my sister came from West Texas to take me there, as I am unable to drive very far and too, we wanted to spend time together. This was my first time to get more than 30 miles from my apartment in 10 years, except to attend funerals or other sad family emergencies.

I went with my daughter's family to visit my sister in Midland at Thanksgiving, that was quite an undertaking for me. I have paid dearly for this happy moment. I am still sick from it, but wouldn't trade those moments with my family for anything.

Dow got my doctors statement from my attorneys, not long after I went to the doctor on Aug 16, 2008...don't have the exact date they received it ... but they did not respond to this letter until January 5th, 2009 - That's nearly 5 months that they had to nitpick my diagnoses .....to find any excuse to deny my disease claim. As is  typical of them, They found a Type-O and now we have to get the doctor to correct his Type-O or what they think might be a loop hole... and send it back to the lawyers so they can resubmit it to Dow, so they can take another 4 to 6 months to nitpick it to pieces again... then back around the circle it goes ...all over again. This makes for a very slow progress, all that nitpicking takes a lot of time you know?

As my Momma used to say; "it is much easier to do the work, than it is to spend all your time looking for a way to get out of work"... must be true, else what other excuse could there be? Stalling ? Yes that too.